A Note from Judy

I was touched by many people who reached out to me after the tragic plane crash on January 29^th. The crash took many lives, including twenty-eight members of my skating community. Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to all the families who lost loved ones and whose lives are forever changed. I understand from my own experience; grief has no timeline. Now that the media and people have scattered, reality will sink in. No one should grieve alone.

My life has been a whirlwind the past few months. Aging parents is the natural evolution of life. I am not alone in a sandwich generation who experience this, and the complexities involved.

My ninety-three-year-old mother, who was strong and fiercely independent, took a quick decline that has left us all emotionally and physically exhausted. She has rallied, but our lives are a roller coaster. Like my father, she wishes to remain at home with care, thanks to a good long-term care insurance policy. The oversight of her care is a full-time job, and the importance is her comfort and safety.

With the little energy left, I am fortunate and grateful for the opportunities that have arisen. The early morning hours seem to be the most productive for my writing and work as I never know what the day is going to bring.

In February, I was honored to be a guest on the Grief Out Loud podcast with Jana Christenson of the Dougy Center, entitled, How Many Siblings Do You Have? Navigating Sibling Loss with Judy Lipson.

Per Jana DeCristofaro, L.C.S.W., Community Response Program Coordinator, we discussed:

• Growing up as the middle of three sisters

• The shock of losing Jane when Judy was 25, and then Margie nine years later

• The challenges of grieving while balancing responsibilities

• How ice skating and philanthropy became outlets for her grief

• The changing landscape of sibling grief support

• What she’s most proud of in her grief process

Please listen to this warm conversation with Jana:

On February twelfth, along with a very talented panel, sponsored by Letsreimagine, we held one of three webinars on Sibling Loss. To summarize the goal of this empowering project:

“The grief of surviving a sibling is often a silent one. Referred to as "forgotten mourners," bereaved siblings are unable to fully express their grief when the focus shifts to parents or caregivers. They must navigate a complex emotional landscape with little acknowledgment or support.

Our guest speakers—storytellers, authors, artists, podcasters, and grief educators—will provide practical tools and support for navigating the complexities of sibling loss. They'll guide us in maintaining connection with our siblings through storytelling and rituals, finding strength in community, and developing healthy coping mechanisms through mindfulness, creative expression, and the creation of legacy projects. We'll also explore the potential for growth and transformation in the aftermath of loss.”

To learn more about this project, please visit:

Reading and books have and always been my love since I was a child. I worked in a public library at age sixteen and secured a master’s in library science in 1991. I was thrilled that two book clubs chose my memoir, Celebration of Sisters: It Is Never Too Late To Grieve.

On Saturday, March 22, 2025, at 4PM, please join me for the Loss of A Lifetime Book Club.

Skating remains my restoration. The ice is magic, centers me and somehow despite any hiatus I seem to have the capacity to skate like I did not miss a beat. Mastering inside three turns, stronger backward skating, remain on my list of goals to accomplish. I cherish every moment on the ice.

I leave you with the following by Christina Rossetti,

“For there is no friend like a sister
In calm or stormy weather;
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands.”

Book Corner

"Deep, everlasting love, grief and the mysteries of mental illness are undercurrents that propel The Perfect Other, a chilling, moving memoir by Kyleigh Leddy. Leddy's raw search for understanding, meaning and peace grants readers a rare personal glimpse into the universal mysteries of mental illness and the long-lasting traumatic effects it has on those afflicted, as well as those in its orbit. A hauntingly reflective memoir details the intricacies of mental illness and the bonds of sisterly love and loyalty in this life--and beyond." — Shelf Awareness

“I was surprised that what I liked about it wasn’t, in fact, its gossipy revelations but the window it provided into the sensitive, reflective interiority of a woman who, for all her worldly success, has always been searching for the self-acceptance that eludes so many of us, whether we’re famous or not. By the end of the memoir, in a final section titled “Surrender,” Moore writes, of this quest, “The truth is, the only way out is in.” It is a tribute to the psychological acuity of this book that I felt the earned honesty of these words deeply.” — NewYorker.com

Because of excess time spent driving, I have been listening to many memoirs. Like me, Demi the constant caretaker realized the importance of self-care. What resonated with Demi Moore’s self-reflective memoir revealed her hard work on herself the core to facing her hardest challenges, upbringing, and leading her best life.

Memory

Whatever my sister Margie asked me to do something, I jumped. Margie constantly asked me to help her rearrange her pink bedroom, with the matching oak bedframe, desk, a tri color pink Afghan crocheted by Grandma Ethel, and pink felt banner of the Peanuts character Lucy.

When we moved and all three of us secured our own room, Margie chose pink, Jane yellow and me blue.

As a teenager, Jane never thought me cool. I was quiet and a nerd. I discovered years later Jane, and her friends had been snooping in my room, moving things around, and Jane insisted on the items being put back where they belonged.

Precious memories of my beloved sisters Margie and Jane.

Skating

The skating community tragically reeled a second time with the loss of twenty-eight skaters on January 30^th. On a personal note, I knew the Russian champions, and coaches, Evgenia Shishkova and Vadim Naumov of The Skating Club of Boston. Not all coaches were receptive to an adult skater, particularly one who skated at the lowest NT (no test) sessions. At six am three days a week, Vadim always greeted with me a broad smile, and said, “Good morning.” Genia came in later, home with their son Maxim. When I congratulated Genia and Vadim on Maxim’s stellar skate at National’s in 2024 where we attended in person, the proud parents, overshadowed their role as coach, a beautiful family unit. Our hearts and thoughts are with all the individuals who suffered loss or losses on that tragic day.

A photo of several of the skaters and coaches we lost.